Can't Run From Me
by Avalea
Summary: The thoughts of a girl obsessed with one of the brothers, very mild abuse and rape.
1. Chapter 1

A/N - Just something that my odd mind kind of thought up all of a sudden. I don't know if this will be a one-shot fic or if I will continue later. Please read and review! It's the response to a Deranged PsychoFreak challenge. If you want a challenge, e-mail her at kornsaysimcool14@yahoo.com.  
  
The lines are still there and they always will be. They are all over my arms, chest and stomach. Some of them are in swirled patterns, so beautiful and intricate, each slash crossing another, making it a mesmerizing site to behold. Others, the ones on my legs, are words. I wrote your name, my love, I wrote it over and over in my skin, in my blood. It was the only way I could get you to know that I loved you so much that to live without was to live without oxygen.  
  
But when I showed you the scars, when I showed you my blood you stared at me. I guess the beautiful site captured you too. You asked me why I did it and when I said I did it for you, you turned and ran from me. I know that you love me as much as I love you, you just can't seem to admit it. I take my knife and push it into the old scars, the ones that had faded. I need to see my blood, the red, for it is your favorite color. I wrote your name on my skin in your favorite color. I burned words of love onto my hand with a match, but you simply stared at me as if I was mad. But that was just a mask you were wearing, because deep inside I know you love me. You are just too afraid to let it show, because you don't want me to stop my artwork.  
  
The few weeks we had together will never be enough. I put a cut on each leg for every day that I haven't seen you. So far it has been a whole 2 months and I am almost going crazy with my love for you. You were so terrified that day I told you I loved you. You asked me if what I said was true and of course I said yes, for you amaze me in every way. You said you needed to think about this and you ran from me. I walked into the bathroom after that and felt so much love for you that I cut each of my fingers and let the blood pour into an empty perfume bottle that I had.  
  
You looked at me with such horror when I gave you that bottle of blood, my blood that I bled for you, the blood that showed my love. Your oldest brother screamed at me to get out of your house, so I did. Why can't anyone understand my love?  
  
Then you moved and it was all I could do to keep from crying. I waited on the front steps of my porch for you, for I expected you to come and say goodbye, but you never came. I understand though. You were scared because you loved me so much that it hurt you and made you angry. That's why you slapped me that one day. You told me to get the hell away but I could see right through you. I know you love me, you must! You slapped me again and I felt my lip bleeding so I spit blood at you. You screamed at me and asked me why I did it and I explained that I wanted to give you a gift. You must have been thankful, because you slapped me again and I felt even more blood.  
  
I know you must love me, otherwise you wouldn't have done what you did. That day was wonderful. You took me to the woods and pushed me down into the dirt. You ripped off my shirt and had to kiss me to keep me from screaming out in pleasure and pain. Did you think I was mad at you, no, never. My heart throbbed with your thrusts and I knew that you loved me. I knew that even though you slapped me and stabbed me with a stick that it was all just for fun. You spat at me afterwards and left me there, zipping up your pants. Every time I see a zipper I think of you.  
  
I have sat on this porch, waiting for you for the last three days. I know that our love will once again be whole. I know you will come back to me. You told me you hated me, but I know that you must feel something for me. So now I wait here, and I will always wait for you as I cut your name deep into my body. Ponyboy, such a beautiful name, and I have written it in my skin millions of times. For that is the power of my love, a love that you can't run away from. 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N - This is from Ponyboy's Point of View, I wasn't going to continue this but I got bored so here it is. For some reason a lot of people have e- mailed me asking how old I am, well since those people seem to care so much I'm 14. My birthday was Feb. 27th, 1989. OK, on with the story.  
  
I thought you were great. Or at least in the beginning. Now that I'm looking out the window of Darry's old beat up truck, I feel that you were the worst thing that ever happened to me. That day in school when you first came was amazing. You and your curly red hair and pretty green eyes. Gosh, I thought you walked down from heaven; you were so pretty. I was surprised when you sat next to me in class. We started talking and you and me had a lot of things in common. Then I asked you to the movies and you actually said yes.  
  
I guess I should have noticed that you started acting weird about a week or so after we met. I noticed you had gotten paler. You got clingy and wouldn't let me walk away from you. When I told you I wanted to break-up with you, you completely freaked and started crying. I didn't mean to hurt you; I just wanted to be free of you.  
  
Then you showed me the horrible lines that ran up and down your arms, my name engraved in your legs, the cuts fresh and slightly puffy. I asked why you did it, and you said in such a scary way that you did them for me. I wanted to slap you, slap some sense into you, but I knew I couldn't so I just turned and ran. You scared me, you really did. The next day you showed me your hands, the words 'I Love You' were burned into your skin with matches. What the hell is wrong with you? How can you do this to yourself?  
  
The hardest thing about our whole 'relationship' was when you told me you loved me. I couldn't believe it, I asked if it was true, and you simply said "Yes" and looked at me as if expecting me to grab you into my arms and tell you that I loved you, but I don't. You're a lunatic! That's exactly what you are! And then you crossed the line by giving me that bottle. You walked right into my living room, while my brothers were sitting right there on the floor and gave me a little bottle filled to the top with your own blood. Darry got up and screamed at you to get out and I'm glad he did or I would have slapped you right then and there. I was afraid for you.  
  
I remember I slapped you one day. I slapped you so hard. I knew I had to do something so horrible it would make you forget about me. But all you did was spit blood into my face, smiling as if it were a present. Maybe it is in your odd mind, but to me it was just nasty. I let you go and you walked away humming. I knew that there had to be something that I could do to make you hate me.  
  
I can't believe what I did.  
  
I took you into the woods for a walk. You just grabbed onto my arm and laid your head on my shoulder. At first I didn't think I could go through with my plan. But I knew I had to, I had to make you hate me. I grabbed you and pushed you down into the dirt. I did everything horrible that I could possibly imagine to you, I even got up and spit at you, walked away and pretended that I didn't care. You smiled at me the whole time. I ran home and threw up so much I thought I was going to puke up my insides. I cried and Soda came in to our room. He didn't ask me what was wrong; he just gave me water and told me it would be all right.  
  
Now we are moving. I know I must have hurt you. I didn't come and say goodbye the day that we left. I don't know what your doing now, but you've probably forgotten about me. It's all right. I'll never see you again, so this is goodbye Sara. Hopefully we'll never meet again. 


	3. Chapter 3

A/N - Well, I really didn't know if I wanted to continue this or not, but people seem to like it and I got this weird idea for another chapter, so here it is. Just think of it as a closing chapter, cuz I dunno if I'm gonna continue it or not. So enjoy and review!  
  
It has been one whole year, my love, one whole year and you haven't come back to me. I have so much to give to you. I tripped down my front porch steps the other day and one of my teeth came out, I saved it just for you. I have bled so much for you, my love. You would be so proud of me. I wrote your name in my blood on the walls of your old house. People think I am crazy for doing so, but I love you so much that it hurts to breathe when you are not here.  
  
I went to the store the other day and your stupid little friend, Two- Bit, was there. He told me I was crazy and that he could see why you left here. Well, he can't see anymore. His blood is still all over my hands. No one will talk about you except me. He was a threat and now he is in the hospital. Oh well.  
  
I have your name written all over my skin. I dig deeper and deeper everyday. I know I must've written your name a thousand times. I even cut it into my face, so that people could see me and know that I am yours. They think I want to kill myself. They are stupid. They don't understand our love, the deep bond that we shared and one day, when you move back, we can die together and be with each other in heaven.  
  
I read my sister's diary the other day. Her old one, anyway. She had a crush on you too. But don't let her fool you, I loved you more. I always have! I always will for our love is something that cannot be taken away by a little girl's crush. I don't what I shall do with her. I should tell her to stay away from you, because you are mine and I am yours, and that will always be true. She probably won't listen to me though. I could kill her.  
  
When will you come back, my love? Why did you leave anyway? Your brothers made you leave, didn't they? Those idiots. They must have been in love with me too and were jealous because I only loved you. That's why they moved, because they wanted me to love them and I would never.  
  
I am running out of spaces on my skin to cut, and when I don't cut there is so much pressure inside me that I need to let out. I don't know what to do, my love. I need to show the world of our love, but I don't know how. I already wrote your name in my blood on a huge poster and walked around with it stapled to my skin. People thought I was crazy, but I'm used to that.  
  
As I sit here on the porch, doing nothing I can see a light blue, beat up truck going down the road. I can't help but smile to myself. It stops at your house and a tall man steps out, followed by two shorter men. They all walk into the house after pausing a moment at where I wrote your name on the wall outside. I knew you would be back, my love, my one and only. Finally we can be together again.  
  
A/N - So, should I continue or not? Please review! 


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